The Loss of my Grandparents

 2020 and 2021 haven’t been the best years for many individuals. I personally lost both my grandparents less than 4 months apart. My grandfather passed away in October 2020 of a sudden heart attack. My grandmother passed away in February 2021 from pancreatic cancer. I was incredibly close to my grandparents and these losses crushed me, especially being so close together.

My grandfather was my biggest fan and was so proud of all I have accomplished. He made sure everyone knew how proud he was of me and never stopped bragging about me. He participated in the NAMI walk with me annually. This was so special for me. I miss him and love him dearly.

My grandmother was not as vocal about it but she was also very proud of me. She was the matriarch of our family and is missed dearly. She was the epitome of strength to the very end. She put her family first and we all loved her so much.

I am crying as I type this because I miss them so much. They were such a huge part of my life and it still feels surreal that they’re gone. They lived long and full lives and I can take solace in that.

They are both missed so very much by so many people. Due to COVID-19 we couldn’t have the large funerals for them that they would have wanted. They touched the lives of so many and we wish we could have included everyone who they touched but we were only allowed a few people on top of our family. 

This is the biggest loss I’ve ever experienced and my heart still hurts. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them. They were the best grandparents a girl could ask for. My love for them will never die.

Hello Strangers

 Hello strangers, It has been a long time since I have written on this blog. You could say I’ve had years of writer’s block. However, I’m back at it and fighting this ongoing writer’s block. My goal is to post once a week in some capacity.

Since I’ve last written, I had 2 back-to-back hospitalizations in 2016 for depression and suicidal ideation. I was hospitalized at Howard County General Hospital, and they happen to have a fantastic psychiatric unit. Since 2016, I’ve been mostly stable. I had one episode of hypomania, but I caught it in time and my psychiatrist and I switched my medication quickly from Seroquel to Zyprexa and all was good after that switch. Since then I’ve been doing great. I have the occasional anxiety and panic attack but overall I am doing better than I can ever remember. Currently I am taking Effexor, Zyprexa, and Lamictal, a combination that is working great for me. It’s been close to six years since my last hospitalization and I’m in awe that I’ve gone so long without a hospitalization. Here’s to hoping for many more years without a hospitalization.

I currently have a job that I love working with the homeless and formerly homeless population in Montgomery County, MD. It’s very rewarding work and I love my clients. I also work for an amazing organization which makes all the difference in the world.

I’ve missed writing. It has helped me and helped others. I’ve had a crappy computer for a few years making writing hard but I’m working on that. Writing is my art and I plan to keep up with it going forward.

You’ll be hearing more from me soon, I promise you

that.