Sunday, October 13, 2013
Just because I'm not in the hospital doesn't mean I'm not sick!
This is a really great graphic. So many people discount what those of us living with a mental illness go through because it is invisible pain. We have to talk about our pain for anyone to know it exists. We have to explain what it's like to go through that kind of pain for anyone to begin to understand. Often times we don't have the words to explain it because we don't understand it ourselves; and often times people don't understand it even when we do have the words to explain it. This leads us to not talk about our pain because we get tired of people not understanding it and because we don't want to get judged for our invisible pain when individuals with visible pain (physical conditions) don't get judged for their pain.
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In this way, I can definitely relate to what you go through. I have nerve damage in my feet after severe complications with shingles. I can't run the way I used to, and I can't exercise as often as I would like. I also have thyroid disorder. I know what it is like to be judged, as even family members have told me to just get up and start walking. Yeah, when my feet feel like they are on fire with every step, that is going to happen! I think this has made me more understanding of my husband's hidden illness- bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I understand that sometimes you smile though the pain and tell others you are okay because it's just too frustrating to try to make them understand otherwise.
I love that graphic, too, by the way. I wonder why people don't understand the severity of any disease until it has landed a person in the hospital.
It's so hurtful and frustrating when you're suffering alone because people don't even try to understand.
So very true. I think this is why I withdraw from people so much when I am at my worst. It's too hard to explain to people who don't understand (words like "depressed" don't even begin to express the pain and words like "psychotic" just scare people), and yet I can't always put on that fake happy mask to hide my illness, so I just try to hide myself away until it gets better. It shouldn't be like that; I shouldn't "hide away" like I have something to be ashamed about. But it just seems easier sometimes.
I agree with you 100% Amy! The word depressed is thrown around to described someone's situational sadness so often. Then when it comes to trying to explain our real depression and not sadness people just chalk it up to be the sadness they are so used to hearing depression described as. No one really understands the seriousness of depression unless they've been through it. I myself haven't had a true depressed episode in years although I've had tons of mania, my bipolar shifted from a more depressed type to a manic type. I sometimes even find myself forgetting all the details of what the depression was like and I've experienced it bad enough to attempt suicide and spend quite some time in ICU as a result.
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