Depression is so underrated...

Depression is not selfish...

We look just like everyone else!

My recovery from manic depression has been an evolution...

Well written and informative!

Stigma Hurts: Real Life Examples!

I have been working on the blog post that I mentioned to you recently for a few weeks now. I am having trouble figuring out exactly how to put part of it into words. The inspiration will come to me eventually it just may take me a little while longer, my apologies. In the meantime, here is something else for you to read, something that I believe to be so incredibly important. 

From time to time, I will ask a question on the Kissing Stigma Goodbye Facebook page and some of the individuals that like the page will post their responses.  Recently, I asked a question that is extremely relevant to part of my goal behind this blog and behind my Facebook page… fighting the stigma of mental illness. In this blog post, I am going to post the question I asked, along with the responses (word for word) that I received from fans of the Kissing Stigma Goodbye Facebook page.

The discussion below provides real life examples of the hurtful things that people say to individuals living with a mental illness. You can’t get any more real life than this, each of the responses below is an example of something or multiple things that have been said to an individual who is living with a mental illness or a loved one of an individual living with a mental illness. Many people don’t think about the things they are saying, I like to think positively and believe that much of the stigma comes from ignorance and not from hatred. Making individuals more aware of how hurtful the things that they are saying is of the utmost importance in fighting stigma. Everything you will read here is a real life stigmatic phrase, let’s all work to be more aware of the things we say. These things hurt whether the intention behind it is ill or not, they still hurt. Please take the time to read through what the amazing Facebook followers of Kissing Stigma Goodbye find to be hurtful. 

I have turned every individuals name into “Anonymous” and you will see “Kissing Stigma Goodbye” a few times throughout which is a response of mine throughout the conversation. I didn’t really make any changes outside of ensuring that no individuals name was used so everything is copied and pasted just as it was written by the individual.

This was the original post by me: 

Kissing Stigma Goodbye One of my most hated things that people say... "Bipolar disorder is just mood swings, everyone has mood swings". What is your most hated thing people say about BP or mental illness?

Here are the series of responses that followed: 

Anonymous "everyone has issues concentrating, and sleeping, and has mood swings, you're just calling yourself bipolar for the attention"

Anonymous You can get over it. Ugh I hate that.

Anonymous "You're not really bipolar. You take too much medicine. You just need to go off all the meds and you'll be fine."

Anonymous It's just in your head!

Anonymous I hate when ppl say u shouldn't have kids bc they automatically think its going to b passed on 

Anonymous "they should lock you up"

Anonymous Its all in your head...doctor said i have it too and i dont need all them drugs and i work.

Anonymous "snap out of it, you are just being a spoiled brat" is what I hate to hear the most.

Anonymous Youre just lazy...hou get a fat check. Omg makes me so mad

Anonymous I hare it Whenever anybody tells me that they're feeling 'bipolar today' ... AND I really don't like it when in trying to make a point in casual conversation someone in my family asks me if I've taken my meds today. Seriously people? Just because one is diagnosed with bipolar disorder it doesn't mean you can't be passionate or outspoken. And don't tell me you're feeling bipolar 'cause it's not an emotion!

Anonymous I don't have a "pet peeve" so to speak about it. ANYTHING said about someone who is suffering these or other ailments pisses me off. I'd love to just Smack some smart and compassion into people sometimes. :)

Anonymous I hate when people say "(insert name here) is bipolar because they are (put action the person doesn't like, here.)" when that person really isn't bipolar and you just say they are because you're just being a jackass.

Anonymous Not so much any specific comments, just that they can't understand that there are things I CANNOT do sometimes.

Anonymous Im a mother with a son who has EMOTIONAL DISTRUBANCE ADHD. Im so sick of how people puts lables on people who has disabilaties.I myself have ADHD N IM DISLEXIC ALSO.So my point is we r diffrent but we r not that diffrent from everyone esle.It just makes us AMAZING PEOPLE;)

Anonymous Get out of the house and do something! No wonder you're depressed, you don't do anything! Another thing, I'm on disability, I need to get off the "crazy checks" and get a job according to my daughter's dads side of the family

Anonymous "You just need to get your sh*t together, everyone has mood swings." OR "I really don't think you're bipolar." (like this person is a doctor?! Um, that would be a no!)

Anonymous This is all so frustrating to me because I never knew everything I needed to know about my disorders until about 5 years ago and I've been talking medication for 27 years. So my past and my behaviors have followed me this whole time. I want so bad not for anyone to feel sorry for me but to understand!! Understand I can't make myself feel a certain way when I want to! My BF and I have been together for 4 years and he sees my struggles but still doesn't get it!! I have to get away from everyone because I get so upset. I can explain, or try to explain how I Feel, I'm told there's nothing to be mad, sad, scared about or of. Just think this way instead, if I could I wouldn't needed my medication...

Anonymous Get over it rages me!!!

Anonymous everyone has a cross to bear pull your big girl panties up and get over it.

Anonymous That I can control it with my mind. And basically saying its not real.

Anonymous get over it is the big one that just makes me want to slap someone, and how everyone has bad days

Kissing Stigma Goodbye Another one that I hate... "Well you look normal", I got that one the other day!

Anonymous My son has autism, epilepsy, speech delay, and something called intermittent explosiveness disorder (very similar to bipolar). It makes me insane when people ask me whether the doctors think he'll be able to "grow out of it."

Kissing Stigma Goodbye I was diagnosed as a teenager and went through a lot before I was stable on meds and someone once said to me at that time, I see you've decided to be good now as if it was a choice I made to just snap out of the bipolar symptoms that had been negatively affecting my behavior all that time.

Anonymous "Did you forget to take your crazy pills today" if I am in a bad mood or tired

Anonymous I hate when people say snap out of it. And I really hate when they say I must not be praying hard enough at church because we Christians etc.

Kissing Stigma Goodbye (in response to above comment) I hate when people tell me that god will fix my mental illness and all I have to do is ask god, no god won't fix this for me- My own active role in treatment is how I manage the symptoms of my illness. Or when people say I'll pray for you, I just want to say, I'd rather you show some understanding that would go a lot further for me than prayer in this situation.
 

Anonymous I am faking it and get a job, if they only knew

Anonymous I get the "everyone has problems with blah blah blah" as I said in my first comment.... a Lot from one of the bosses at work; makes me wanna deck him every damned time, or the bf "everyone has days where everything goes wrong" dude.... you don't f*cking GET it 'cause you don't HAVE it ((I myself have never been diagnosed with anything other than depression several yrs ago, but have experienced Many 'episodes' so to speak in the past year, mostly brought on by the high-stress & high-dipshit content of where I work.)).

Anonymous "If it's to do with your mind, then you can control it"
and "You choose your mood"

Anonymous People have said to me, "oh thats convenient" or " doesn't everyone have bipolar

Anonymous When I was first diagnosed in 2004...I sat down with my father to tell him...all I got in return is the comment its all in ur head...fucking hate that!!

Anonymous You are just lazy, worthless, crazy and should be put into a asylum

Anonymous Lazy. Just get up and do something you'll feel so much better

Anonymous That we are crazy!

Anonymous "Mom and dad were too good to you" as a primary reason and "You're unpredictable" as a reason to keep me out of his (my only sibling) life.

Anonymous My x ( why he is my x) You only get sick when you want to get sick.

Anonymous ….Or when I overhear...."she's bipolar....she really can't be trusted those people scare me"

Anonymous Oh we are all a little bipolar! Lol that one makes you want to scream.

Anonymous I was kept out of my family's lives because they "could not deal with me."

Anonymous Just snap out of it. Also, don't you think it's time to get off the meds?

Anonymous You're not really bipolar. You just use that as an excuse for your behavior.

Anonymous "Chin up, you don't need medication. You're just not giving it to God". Arghh! Hate that one. Very hurtful..

Anonymous I hate that they won't acknowledge it as an illness and think your making it up or perhaps it's all because of a lack of good parenting

-Kissing Stigma Goodbye-

NAMI | Top Oscar Awards Connect to Mental Illness

Great article to check out if you have the time!

NAMI | Top Oscar Awards Connect to Mental Illness

Jennifer Lawrence wins best actress Oscars 2013

This is adorable, she is so cute plus she mentions mental health stigma!

Mental Health America: 373,000 Children and Adults Will Lose Mental Health Services--Unless Congress Acts

Please take a moment to read this article on Mental Health America's website and scroll to the bottom to urge congress to act! Thank you!

Mental Health America: 373,000 Children and Adults Will Lose Mental Health Services--Unless Congress Acts

Merriam-Webster.com

Here you will find the letter for Merriam-Webster.com.

 The website you want to visit to send the letter is:

 http://www.merriam-webster.com/contact/definition.htm

 Here is the letter that I have drafted. Please don't forget to read through an make any necessary adjustments before sending (i.e. changing it from an individual living with a mental illness to a family member, loved one, etc.). I know it is not that easy to read because I don't have it broken up into paragraphs but that is how it needs to be copied and pasted into their site to send it successfully.

As an individual living with a mental illness, fighting the stigma associated with mental illness and promoting public awareness around mental illness is of the utmost importance to me and my family. For too long, mental illness has been horribly misunderstood as the public image promotes mental illness in a fearful and dangerous light. Yet mental illness is a disease, like any other disease. Mental illness is treatable and there are many success stories of people surviving with mental illness and living healthy and fulfilling lives, like myself.
Having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Definitions and thesaurus entries such as yours of the term psychotic further the already detrimental stigma that individuals living with a mental illness face in their day to day lives. Terms such as “batty”, “disturbed”, “nutty” and “loony tunes” are offensive in any discussion of mental illness and should not be accepted. The term psychotic is a clinical terminology and the definition should obtain no more than the clinical definition. Your post goes far beyond the definition of psychotic and uses slang terminology to label the many individuals living with a mental illness. Such an approach would never be tolerated in a discussion about cancer, diabetes or any other medical illness and should not be tolerated in any discussion about mental illness.
People with mental illness and their families deserve to live in a society where they are respected and dignified, not in a society where they are feared, judged or misunderstood. I am asking that you revise your entry of the term psychotic to reflect the true definition of the word including removing all slang terminology from your entry, some of which I have previously listed. This kind of language is entirely unacceptable and extremely hurtful to individuals living with a mental illness and their loved ones. I encourage you to take it upon yourself to remove this hateful language from your definition. Thank you for your time. I look forward to seeing the changes on your website.

This is the link to my original post titled "Psychotic is Not a Dirty Word" which showcases the hateful language used by 3 different websites in defining the terms Psychotic and Psychosis, in case you would like a refresher:  

http://nodifferentthanyou.blogspot.com/2012/12/psychotic-is-not-dirty-word.html

Thank you for your support!

-KSG- 

Thesaurus.com

Here you will find the letter for Thesaurus.com.

I do not see an actual e-mail address as to where we can e-mail dictionary.com or thesaurus.com.  The only way I see to contact them is through the website.  It is the same website and method of contact for both dictionary.com and thesaurus.com, I am going to send to separate letters to them though, I hope you will too. The have previously posted the letter for dictionary.com, this is the letter for thesaurus.com.

This is the website you want to visit:

http://content.dictionary.com/about/contact

Then choose the drop down menu underneath the heading "general website".  Choose "information removal request" and then continue. Then you can enter the info and go.

Here is the letter that I have drafted. Please don't forget to read through an make any necessary adjustments before sending (i.e. changing it from an individual living with a mental illness to a family member, loved one, etc.). I know it is not that easy to read because I don't have it broken up into paragraphs but that is how it needs to be copied and pasted into their site to send it successfully.

As an individual living with a mental illness, fighting the stigma associated with mental illness and promoting public awareness around mental illness is of the utmost importance to me and my family. For too long, mental illness has been horribly misunderstood as the public image promotes mental illness in a fearful and dangerous light. Mental illness is a disease, like any other disease. Mental illness is treatable and there are many success stories of people surviving with mental illness and living healthy and fulfilling lives, like myself. Having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Definitions such as thesaurus.com’s of the terms psychotic and psychosis further the already detrimental stigma that individuals living with a mental illness face in their daily lives. Terms such as “lunatic “demented”, “crazy” and “madness” are offensive in any discussion of mental illness and should not be accepted. The term psychotic is a clinical terminology and the definition should reflect only that. Your definitions goes far beyond the definition with the use of slang terminology to label individuals living with a mental illness. Such an approach would never be tolerated in a discussion about cancer, diabetes or any other medical illness and should not be tolerated in any discussion about mental illness. People with mental illness and their families deserve to live in a society where they are respected and dignified, not in a society where they are feared, judged or misunderstood. I am asking that you revise your definition of psychotic to reflect the true definition of the word including removing all slang terminology from your definition, some of which I previously listed. This kind of language is entirely unacceptable and extremely hurtful to individuals living with a mental illness and their loved ones. I encourage you to take it upon yourself to remove this hateful language from your definition. Thank you for your time. I look forward to seeing the changes on your website.

This is the link to my original post titled "Psychotic is Not a Dirty Word" which showcases the hateful language used by 3 different websites in defining the terms Psychotic and Psychosis, in case you would like a refresher: 

http://nodifferentthanyou.blogspot.com/2012/12/psychotic-is-not-dirty-word.html

Thank you for your support!

-KSG-