Over the years life has
not handed me anything on a silver platter.
Life has come with complications through every step of the way. I have come to no longer expect life to come
with ease. Instead, I take whatever is
thrown at me and keep pushing ahead.
There have been times in which I have been pushed backwards but I have
never let myself stay there. The last year has come with a lot of
challenges. While pushing myself through
53 credits at school in one year’s time I also dealt with a spike in psychiatric
symptoms among other major and not so major issues. I hit hypomania in October and it
spiraled from there. While I never
really felt fully manic, I experienced more psychosis than I have ever
experienced in my life as well as some symptoms of Mania and simultaneous
symptoms of depression. While it did
indeed take me time to notice what was going on, eventually I did. I took control and went to my Psychiatrist
and with medication changes I was feeling better than ever within a couple of months. I continued fighting through school throughout
everything and managed to graduate with a pretty awesome GPA.
This experience taught
me that there is nothing in life that I can’t handle. I have learned that I can push through
anything that life throws my way. The
last year has also proven to me that I CAN ask for help when I need it and that
there is no shame in admitting the full scope of my symptoms. For so long I had
a hard time admitting the full scope of my symptoms even to my psychiatrist out
of shame and embarrassment. However, he
can’t help me fully unless I am open and honest with him and I have now
realized and accepted that. I had a year
marked by excessive change, heartache and a decrease in mental health. However I followed that with treatment and a
change for the positive and came out of it a better person and with a better outlook on myself and
on life.
I’ve never in my life asked
and never will ask for sympathy, just empathy. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me
because I have bipolar or because of my far from stable former marriage or for any of the
life experiences I have had. Every
experience I have had has made me into the strong and independent woman that I
am today. Equally important, every experience I have had has placed me in a
position to give back to others in need.
I have gone through my entire life without giving any credit to myself
for the rocky road that I traveled to get here. I always looked at it as
me just doing want I had to do to get through life. However, some friends helped me realized how
much strength it has taken for me to get where I am in life. I now give myself
credit for how far I have come. For the first time in my life, I truly stood
proud of myself after receiving my MBA. I stood proud because I never gave up,
I pushed through all that I was handed throughout that time and came out of it
a better person than I was when I went into it.
So my message to
everyone with a mental illness is keep that fight up! There is something better
on the other side of it! Never forget how strong you are and how much strength
it has taken to overcome your illness. With
the realization of that strength, take it and use it to push through anything
and everything! Don’t let your past bring you down, if I had, I wouldn’t be
where I am today. Remember, not everyone is going to understand what you are
going through and that is perfectly alright! Lastly, be 100% honest with your
psychiatrist and/or therapist! The scope of your treatment depends solely on
your complete honesty! There is no shame in admitting your symptoms, they’ll
never get treated if you don’t admit them!
Thanks for reading!
-KSG-
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